You Need a "Why"
It's no secret that I struggle with the whole self love thing. It's also no secret that I'm not the healthiest/fittest human being on the planet--like, inhale 10 chicken nuggets from McDonalds in under .5 seconds unhealthy. I never realized how bad it was until a few weeks ago when Jon and I got home from a day at Southwick Zoo (a must visit if you've never been by the way, it's fantastic!) and I stepped on the scale, only to see that I gained 10 pounds. Now, I'm sure many of you rolled your eyes and thought "oh god 10 pounds", but for me it was a total nightmare. It was the absolute heaviest I've ever weighed in my entire life and I immediately felt disgusting.
I ran back to our room pretty much in tears and begged Jon to start a workout/healthy diet plan with me, thankfully after a couple minutes he agreed to do it. Now, for those who don't know, Insanity is a high intensity cardio workout (find it HERE) that allows you to quickly shed fat and build muscle. It's a lot of work and a huge commitment as the workout plan is 6 days on, 1 day off 45 minutes to a little over an hour for two months. We also agreed to eat a lot better--meaning we drastically cut our calories by eliminating junk food, sugar, etc.
After our first workout Jon sat me down and we had a huge discussion, one I think (and hope) you will all benefit from hearing because it really helped me. Aside from being a great guy and telling me I was beautiful even though I didn't feel it, he said that I need a "why" --why did I want to workout? And telling him "because I feel fat" was not my "why". He told me his "why" was me. He wanted to workout for me. He wanted to workout to help me feel good about myself. I was his motivation. And in that conversation I realized that "because I feel fat" couldn't be my "why" because no matter what my weight dropped to, no matter how much jiggle I lost, I would never be truly happy, I would always find something about myself I was unhappy about, because that's who we are as human beings--there's always something we are going to want to change and fix about ourselves. So my "why" became us and our relationship, it became bettering myself as a person, it became being capable of pushing my body and my mind to new levels, and ultimately in return being able to love my body and myself for the achievements.
Jon and I are starting week 4 this weekend and the amount of physical changes we've seen are incredible. I've shared one of my photos here, this particular photo is day 1, week 1 (right) vs day 7, start of week 2 (left). The physical changes are unbelievable, my waist tapered in, I lost 3 pounds and my arms have a significant amount of definition.
Ordinarily I wouldn't be sharing this story or this photo with anyone because for me it is something really personal, but I've seen a lot of body shaming on Instagram the past several weeks and I think there are people out there who could benefit from a positive story. I've been body shamed quite a bit over the years and it's a terrible feeling and an even more terrible thing to do to another person. I'm a huge advocate for self love as I've struggled significantly with that concept over the last several years and I don't ever want another person to feel that way. So just know that you 100% aren't alone. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to have 0 motivation to do the workout, it's okay if you ate a gigantic bowl of ice cream and cake (not saying I did that today or anything...) but you have to do the workout, you have to find your "why" and you have to get it done. Because I guarantee you will feel so much happier, energized, less anxious/stressed after those 45 minutes are over.
Need some motivation, want some tips, just want to share your story? Message me on instagram @KaitKingman or follow me on Snapchat @kait_kingman --I'd love to hear your stories!